Take a seat, make yourself comfortable-- service will take some time as we adjust the place. Until then, help yourself to some tea!
So, I've recently been falling deeper and deeper in love with tea, specifically brewed gongfu style, helplessly drowning myself in a camellia sinensis' syrup, several shades of autumn deep.
In these explorations, among what I have tried in gongfu brewing, my favourite teas (from most favourite to least favourite) are as follows
I think what I like most in tea is the strength of the cha qi, or tea feeling, that it brings me. I've found myself particularly sensitive to this, perhaps a consequence of a psychoactive headspace. Regarding taste, I think my preferences are for teas which possess both a fruity sweetness, and a heavy earthiness. Tieguanyin is especially good at providing this, and thus why I'm so inclined to it.
My ambitions for tea generally are to try the ten teas of China, possess erudition in tea literature, and possibly write my own tea treatise. Wish me luck!
Prepared this sometime after I woke up. Drunk on my bed, rather than my low table. My anxiousness has lowered, and made me less afraid of being seen, so I have my blinds have been open, and I can see outside-- it's just beginning to rain.
I feel really nice and safe inside, and lean over to look at this large stone buddha in our backyard, who now reminds me of a teapet as it gets kind of wet. Suddenly, my tea grows very strong in aftertaste, astringent. It's aftertaste is so nice, I want it to last forever-- oh, it stopped raining... I decide to listen to pingsha luoyan, I think the cha qi is catching up to me? Everything is very ethereal, warm... people are drag racing right now, maybe I should watch someday.
You could listen to renditions of Pingsha Luoyan for eternity, well, maybe not that long, but it would feel like it. I'd love to learn this song on guqin, or guitar. Guqin's are really expensive, y'know?
Okay, I think I understand white tea, now. It's not just a flavour like honey, it's really complex and full, you only need give it time to shine. It's like milk and honey, but also like flowers and pretty waltzes, it's so shiny! aaaaaaaa
melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt melt
I understand Emperor Huizong rn, I think I'm like, a scion of Great Song, actual imperial princess vibes. I should listen to the Li Qingzhao piece, but it's so very sad, Yuemanxilou, I love it. It's my favourite piece for moongazing... Sometimes, all you need is a mild, welcoming tea.
Jiukang is fucking cool
I moved everything down to my low table and reheated my water, the sky is such a beautiful shade of lilac-lavender, with orange hints at the bottom, that express themselves so lovely in the clouds. I'd love to learn about cloudspotting. I can see the moon from here, with the rabbit thrown on it and everything. I wish I could see the stars like this, it'd be so nice
Clouds roll over, I love how the moon glows from underneath, a halo of light emenating from underneath that only the clouds can illuminate, it's so luminous, and there are so many thin layers of cloud that only the moon can show you as it's halo shines on them. I can taste the water a lot more, now, so I go to compare the taste of plain water to my tea-- the tea can probably last a couple more steepings. Birds are flying over to retire for the day-- I hope they found some tasty berries to munch on. It's 5:52 PM, I think the stars might start appearing soon, but it seems like the clouds will cover the sky for a while, so I might not be able to stargaze tonight.
the tea has more or less run it's course. you cant seen the moon underneath the clouds save for a feint glow. i turn on the lights to inspect the colour of the tea water, and admire my celadon gaiwan and cups. My tummy is starting to hurt, so I pour the rest out for my tea pet, a broken small teapot shaped like a pig. I turn the light off and look outside again, the clouds have passed on, and the first stars are appearing, so maybe I can stargaze later tonight after all. Returning my computer to my bed, I'm gonna go talk to some people and listen to music, maybe.
Oh, wow, I'm kind of intimidated... this is my second time trying this, and it's oh so rich! I pour the rinse water, and sip the rinse like I usually do (Am I weird for doing that?), then I give it to my tea pet and prepare. Oh gosh, the huigan is so very detailed!
Actually drinking this, though, I don't know how to describe it? I'm getting shivers and shakes, I need some music to go with it, but can't think of anything, it's so intoxicating, I wish I had a sommelier for this... soltero is open in another tab, communist love song, so I put that on. It's really changing how this tea feels, a large part of the tea is how it feels in my throat and chest, I think, that's where it's so very strong, just as it is astringent in my mouth, a great flooding redness, it feels like a robe the way it feels like much more than just something that happens in my mouth, running deep and thick and warm, it sings with the music, fading into new colours as time moves
I guess the best way to describe it is that it sinks into you. Everything is sinking, sinking, sinking. I put on Starry Re's Romantic Era Playlist and just sort of let that run. I wouldn't say it's well tailored for this-- maybe I should change it? I had an idea as to what, but forgot, brain foggy. Second steeping is a lot more detailed in colour, mm, I feel like black metal, kinda. Yeah, I'll put on end cycle futility, that sounds cool.
Da Hong Pao is the black metal of tea.
I'm stroking the water with my tongue, it's very soft, it's like petting a cat.
Third steeping time! I need to find more ways of conserving heat, it's upsetting how it cools too quickly. I poured my gaiwan into my cup and it splashed places, agh, I'm silly. I love how this tastes, though, it's really wonderful, the sweetness is starting to come out of the earthiness, now, and it's so wonderful! Same as with the lid smell-- I keep forgetting to remove the lid, oops
I decide to move everything to where I can see outside for the fourth steeping. I stay on my bed, though. It's really gloomy out, but I find it fitting with the music. An airplane passes, blinking red. It's become very floral and rich, crisp, kind of. The mix of astringency and soft water is weird. Slow guitar strums, the sound of running water, and a gloomy grey outside, only punctured by the light coming from the houses of our neighbours. It's a lot brighter and more vivid than the picture I took, I wish I had a better camera for days like these. It's kind of hard to inspect the colour of the tea under these circumstances
I love how gaiwans handle so much. Fifth steeping! You can see the city lights begin to glow in the distance, they paint the clouds a sickly brownish yellow, expanding outwards. I hate this colour, especially when I want to stargaze, it's like a reminder of why the sky isn't as vivid as I want it to be.
At this point, I don't have much to write... I'm kinda just here enjoying the tea, scenery, and music. I like sweetness. Sweetness is nice, it's good, it's a Good Flavour.
I can't tell I feel like I'm hallucinating some kind of spirit in the distance, or maybe that's just a cloud formation, though I wouldn't put it past myself to hallucinate something like that, so I dunno. I wish I had someone around to check if I'm going insane. The sky is a nice shade of navy-grey, very complex and detailed, if the colours were based on a red palatte, it might feel like da hong pao, kinda. I'll take a break to get some more water, so I put the lid back on, pause my music, and I'll do that I guess.
Leaving my room, it felt like entering another dimension or something, as a flood of colour returned that I didn't have in my dimly lit room. Everything takes on a pale grey in the evening, and also when you dissociate really hard. Maybe I'll write a trip report when I do DXM? I wonder how similar it is, mm.
I love my teddy bear "Baby Bear" I love having tea parties with him he's such great company :333333
It's too dark to see the buddha. My kettle beeps twice, so it's time for water I guess. I set my bear down, renew my music, aaaa, it's hard to type I'm all shaky! can't count easily, either, 45 second steep this time
Yeah, reheating the water really got more out of the tea than using the same water that progressively cooled down. Sweetness to earthiness ratio has tipped towards sweetness, it's also a lot more complex now. Maybe I should bring the kettle with me or pour my water into a tetsubin? If that's what they're for? That's the impression I get. In my chest there is a robe, da hong pao :3333
I should write a rap song called "I'm Lu Yu Bitch"
I definitely agree that the third and fourth steeping have the best taste. It's beginning to plateau out, diminishing returns, and I don't really wanna drink tea as much more, but I couuuuuuuuuuuld keep going, if I wanted to. I'll stop after this steeping, it's like the 5th or 6th I don't remember. Song Because I Can't Stand Up is great, I love it. Dregs of water at the bottom with all the complexity are also delicious. I love it. I love how there's so much in the world to love, tea, water, clouds, music, plants, wood, walls, colours, scents tastes, food.
Descending from my bed to put the kettle back, I noticed moonlight spilling into my room. It was really beautiful on the evening sky. I put my tea set where the moonlight is, and now my ru kiln celadon is all moonlit, it's so pretty. I'm gonna go listen to Yuemanxilou tea drunk, now.
it's kinda hard to write consistently blegh
listening to johnny hobo with my cat-- the past couple days I drank to guqin, but not today! today is a day for song and sway, chaindrinking through the gaps in my teeth, or something silly like that!
something floral and round and warm and earthy and fruity sweet like this I really needed, I think? it's nice and cuddly, like a ray of sunshine and a cloud passing over, giving room for the peachy sweetness to come
May the only occupation we have be not having a job! May the only cocktails that we make be molotov!
I've been eating a lot in conjunction with the past couple sessions, things like red bean buns. It feels kinda LARPy, but hey, I'm not complaining, tea goes well with food. I had dumplings beforehand, which was fun. I guess one worry I have though, is that I'm not appreciating the tea as much, as it is, for itself, and "corrupting" it in a way by pairing things like oolong with sugary red bean fillings. Iunno, there'll be plenty of chances to appreciate this in all sorts of contexts and times, so maybe I shouldn't worry so much.
Speaking of contexts, maybe I should try prepare tea out in the great grasslands of where I live, so picturesque and ever expanding outwards! It's the focus of a lot of heidelberg impressionism, I'm really fond of it.
I remember this one picture Global Tea Hut used to accompany their translation of the Tea Classic by Lu Yu, of some guy with his kettle and bowl, drinking on a rock with a view of the mountains and rivers, and how I knew how this felt back when I would do something similar in the grasslands outside class when I was last in education.
this is so sweet in aftertaste aaaa!!!
I think strongest of all, though, is the cha qi. I feel like a slowly spinning pool of caramel inside, like a spoon is stirring up this buttery burnt sugar substance inside, like my heart is made of dulce de leche and is slowly melting-- the astringency freezes in place a moment in time, in taste, that feels as if eternity, dragging seconds into minutes, minutes into hours, thoughts are spinning, spinning, spinning, tumbling from my fingers onto the screen. I lean in as more words surface from the sea, and pull back as the fog grows in depth to take another sip-- breathe out through my nose, feel the air resurface in my mouth, the scent run through my veins, the colours dance in a maze of words, words, words, spinning spinning spinning
I pour more water, and wait for it to steep. Time slows with each number I count. Ten seconds, iterating another three or five with every steeping, like counting sheep, I start to dream, like a dream, I wake back up, pour, and sip
Pu'erh is like growing a tree, the earthiness overwhelming your mouth, the woodiness as it runs to the back of your throat, and the fruit that sprout at the end.
you can tell where the music ends because left alone with my thoughts I become far more incoherent and my thoughts begin spiralling. I sort of forgot to put something on after, maybe some kundimans would be nice-- oh, I'm out of water... I guess I'll stop, here.
good tea
Tieguanyin is one of my absolute favourite teas, my personal ambrosia, it coats you all deep and thick and I love every second of it! My other cup will create a stacked infusion, my first time trying something like this, and I'll be listening to Mitzutani for the session, an artist quite new to me.
I think one of my favourite parts of tieguanyin is how even the air in your mouth after the liquid disappears is so rich and deep in flavour, how when I turn my tounge, I can taste a tapestry, cool and sweet, accompanied by a rich oily feeling that runs throughout everything so very lovely and warm. Mitzutani's gentle singing is so serene, I think quite inverse to how the tea progresses as the flavour profile grows in detail but dullness with each steeping-- if all the tracks were reversed, that would help. I would prefer something big and intense to start that progressively grows sweet and gentle, so maybe a change of album is in order? I don't know... this tea is lovely, by the way! I love tieguanyin a bunch
I opt to put on the Moldau, take a long sip, and smell the cup. It's sensory bliss. Two more cups disappear, and my server is already empty, so quickly. I love this tea, it's so floral and dreamy!
I take a sip of the stacked infusion out of curiousity, and the cha qi, it's almost psychdelic-- my room feels a lot more vivid, my vision feels a lot more swirly I suddenly notice the big empty space by my door a big patch of white was it always this empty? the song picks up again the river flows deeply it flows openly wonderfully wonderfully lovely my hands are shakng kind of and theres like visual flickers and little spirits that dance with the tea steam things dance where im not looking the huigan fire fills me and runs through my veins i melt into the sweetness
hills of manchuria, now. i like how the steepings alternated from sweet to earthy to really sweet again, i love how this tea is, it's my favourite.
sort of like how music can feel more real than everything else with a good set of headphones and the right frame of mind going in, the tea right now feels more real than my other senses. time is sort of distorted as the tea drags everything out, what I see and touch and hear feels kind of detatched compared to something far more vivid, far more real feeling, the taste and scent of the tea.
I take a sip of the stacked infusion, the taste is very layered, it's like going through the past session all in one moment-- it's delicate, fragile, with many layers wrapping over one another, dancing and talking
My ru kiln gaiwan broke, compelling me to get another. I find the broken pieces very beautiful, but my family does not, so fragments of a beautiful moonlight color now sit on my window, right besides a neglected mini calligraphy kit, one of my favourite tea cups, a $2 coin, a butter knife, and on the far side, a black marker I use for practicing my Gothic handwriting.
Yesteryday, I recieved my new gaiwan, accompanied with a cardboard casing of anji bai cha, Emperor Huizong's favourite tea of which he described as akin to white jade, and Da Hong Pao, which has been permanently bound into my thoughts as associated with black metal, an association I cannot change due to the nature of the tea as something I could only taste twice, but no longer! I might write another tea journal record of how I change it, but that is for when I next prepare da hong pao. I want to sit on my anji bai cha.
And sitting, I am. I've finished drinking, and am now writing in retrospect, rather than as the tea session progresses in the streams of consciousness these things have previously taken. It's got a gentle sweetness and richness to it, something very familiar. I would best describe it as akin to the white chocolate my father used to share with me when I was a child, but also, I'm slightly worried that this account is blurred by a Mei Leaf Video I saw comparing good matcha from China and Japan respectively, where he described one of the matchas as akin to white chocolate. I seem to possess a kind of comparative alexaesthesia, unable to compare two senses very well when brought up in memory. Where some peopple might be able to compare a scent to blueberry or caramel or toffee, I always take a scent as itself and nothing more, and I always worry that when I describe scents and tastes, I'm drawing from how others describe tea, rather than developing my own ability to describe something as it is to me
But, I think this account of it as akin to white chocolate, it's very real, even if I'm drawing on the accounts of others. White chocolate is a very nostalgic taste to me, like the taste of pastillas de leches, the sound of tagalog, and the smell of the ocean.
In other ways, it tastes kind of warm, melty. My first session on the 8th, the second wednesday of September, I was blessed with particularly good water, cloudlike, fluffy, very smooth and whole, but an unnecessary restraint regarding how much tea I put into my gaiwan, resulting in a less present taste. Today, I put more tea in the gaiwan, substantially more. I think it emphasized the taste of green tea in general? I don't know, I'm not very good at describing sensations, especially in retrospect. When I say something is like caramel, it is more regarding the phonoaesthetics of the word, or maybe the "essence" the term caramel evokes, and not literally caramel. I have this mental imagery of a coppery colour that is very smooth and pleasant to look at, rather than the flavour itself.
Ah! I keep going off track! Rambling about how difficult I find it to describe things...
Maybe I'll just be more impressionistic and direct, but oh, I get so alexithymic... I'll try my best, okay?
Who am I talking to?
This is silly it feels so performative, even if this is how my thoughts are conveyed. Well, I mean, I edit things, adjust thoughts as they come-- it *is* performative, but, that's okay, because I still mean everything I say.
I think, by now, it's very hard to describe, especially because the taste has lingered. I'm still finding out how I like to brew it, buuuuut, I know that anji bai cha is something I love. It's a white jade, rich and delicate, but enveloping and sweet. It has a kind of body to it that I struggle to describe, like a pastel green... I'm not sure.
I mean, it's only been two sessions, but I understand Huizong a lot better now, I think.
I'll write again soon, once I know how to temper it's tone and taste, and then, it'll be something that happens then and there, and I'll capture it in clauses, in impresssions and inspirations spontaneous and sudden, and it'll be beautiful and it will do justice to my experience of the tea
I don't really have a properly written tea account, but late into my session, I grew curious about my experience of huigan and typed this somewhere
does your huigan ever take a certain shape
obviously it's more like
detailed than this
it's like a uhhh
it's very fine, but thick
this basic shape but then it sort of forms and extends into very elegant patterns
idk if it's just the fact that im like
schizotypal again or if this is an actual thing people experience
depending on the quality of the tea session, it's always different
the best shapes are the ones that you can feel sink into your soul
because when it like
goes down your throat
the shape is drawn
and follows from the path of the tea
and it's like it's sinking
and you're drowning in the shades of colour
it wraps into my lungs and grants me a breath of fire that warmed the water it possesses and haunts
@~@
It's easier to write consistently if I put it down somewhere first, and then add the HTML stuff later. I normally write and then do the tags and stuff first and thats usually exhausting because it breaks the flow of thought. I might be able to write more if I just kind of edit everything a bit later
so, I'm typing a little late. I kind of fat-fingered the music and just kind of put on Lust by Rei Harakami which feels lazy and-
I took a sip and it's like, milky, sweet, and it has the same pace as these melodies, almost (what does that mean?)... the timbre and taste are very akin to one another, I mean, I wanna put something else on, admittedly, but things flow together so well, but now I know the timbre to this tea, I can make decisions, of which I will rather predictably listen to some candy claws. Speaking of candy, it's sort of sinking into my mouth, this almost mint floral feeling, but I'm also noting a bitterness, and a great size of body rich and thick
Oh! I should get a cup for stack steeping, so that was what I did and I chose the grasslands cup.
It's a very melodic tea, I think? Whereas oolongs tend to be more harmonic. Whereas in the former, everything comes out in smaller details and moments, rather than being a progression of waves. There are little fragments of oilyness wrapped around my tounge where a rich sweetness comes out not unlike Tieguanyin, but it's different.
I feel like I'm not paying attention enough to that big overwhelming nuttiness and umami in my description, but uh, just know it's there. I kind of value the finish more for how nostalgic it feels, but that isn't to devalue the body of the tea, which is so very rich and cuddly. It's especially warm on the third steep, oh and so very fresh! I change to Two Airships/Exploder Falls from Rei Harakami-- a sort of sereneness is taking over now, almost sedative, potent ever so more through the music.
I feel like a schizosynaesthetic mess as the dream takes hold and so many senses blur into one another, breaking and moving and swirling into a mess of nostalgic sweetnesses and temporal glitches, centuries apart from scholars broken by distortion pads and fuzzy flavours and a great overwhelming umami sort of fills me and I feel a kind of warmth in all of me.
it's kind of like my blood feels filled with warmth, I mean, it is, but, I notice it more now
Last steep, Two Airships finishes. Exploder falls begins, and I pour into my cha hai. My stacked steep awaits besides me, and I pour into my spiraling cup. Sip. I grow infatuated with a leaf an then put it onto my computer screen, feeling awash with colours and tastes and sounds and scents and the warm feeling of my bed and the firm plastic of my computer keyboard. Exploder falls enters it's second act, and my cha hai looks empty, so I take to the expanse of plains and grass, the stacked steep.
It's very warm despite having grown cold somehow. I can taste it all throuhgout my throat and lungs and everywhere. I think the stacked steep sunk into my soul more than any other moment. I'll let the album finish and then maybe put everything away then, but until that time, I feel so serene now.
Not much to write as the album runs it's course. I feel as though I'm about to wake up from a dream when this all ends.
And I wake up.
I found myself in a moment of respite from avolition, and started a couple chores, though carried none to completion. I prepared my shou puerh brick and am mulling about the whole Shuishan Yu Guqin catalogue now. As of writing, I am on my second steep, and as it stands, the tea is more a vehicle for this strange feeling that captures me right now.
In placing the cup to my lips, I let it linger, and feel it's firmness. Debris sits at the bottom of the cup, and swirls on an axis, imitating the motions of a snake-- a sudden sweetness hits me, and it occurs that the small amount of liquid, in it's curves and motions, resembles the whole yin yang thing. Very Chinese-Hermit-Core of you, Melody-- but really, it does. I've no other means of describing it.
Third? Fourth steep? I don't really count anymore. One of my favourite parts of this ritual is pouring the water from a height, watching the steam wrap around the waterfall, watch as one submits to gravity and as one defies it. I could easily see myself as an ancient philosopher denying that gravity is real or universal, ehehe.
Flickers of delusion tell me that there is cosmic significance in the spiral motions of the steam, and the way the debris moved in the water. I adore my shou brick for how robust it's red colour is, even if getting the tea leaves can be a hassle, given how dense the brick is.
When I sit, patiently, the rich body of the tea gifts me sweetness. All time inbetween feels eternal, yet strung together by the notes of a guqin, poem put to pluck, strings to welcome sweetness. I pour again, making a mess. I made no effort to aim the cha hai very well and more tea landed on my tea board and splashed onto me than did it land in the tea cup. I think the tone of the tea reminds me a bit of the colour of my hair, which is a very dark brownish reddish colour, that appears black under 90% of circumstances save for when the stars align and one gains the impression of red streaks.
I contemplate a greyness I once saw. I don't know how to describe it here. It deserves it's own page on this site, I think. I tried to feel it's form, but I couldn't capture it. I think I was too distracted by writing, or thinking about my next words. I've been seeing it in more things, lately, little gaps in reality that resemble something like a transcendental white noise, but it's not as vivid as it was, then.
Sweetness.
No more tea left.
listening to the sophtware slump at 8 to 6, watching sunrise, the last stars bidding their farewells.
the sky is a canvas of colour, the visual snow traces synaesthetic shimmering, electric roars
a thousand tones in a sunrise gradient, a shade of blue for each kind of love, flickering in and out as the light moves
a berry sweetness, a solar warmth, the tea tastes of spring
dont give in 2000 man
slowly i can make out the teaware as the light grows
the sunrise is so beautiful
I was away from my tea for about a month, whilst staying at my dad's place. Tea subsequently left my diet, besides the very strong tasting oolong tea bags my dad had. I often drank more coffee.
So, I'm sitting on a bit of tea drunkness from pots of Tieguanyin, and with that kind of distance afforded by being away, the tea feels a lot more enchanted again. My tummy feels warm, my head is spinning, I feel kinda buzzy, and I let a block of chocolate melt on my tounge. Chocolate is very special, especially the chocolate you get for Easter (Paska, as it is called in Gothic), and especially the chocolate you have after a nice pot of tea. I'm conscious of the effects of Chocolate relative to oxcytocin, and people often expound the health benefits of just a little bit of chocolate every now and again, but I think that cheapens the magic of it. I think I first learned about the effects of Chocolate when watching that Harry Potter film featuring it as a child, how something so mundane could abate things so terrible, and how despite that particular franchise of films being disenchanted for me, it remains the place in which I grew to see chocolate as something special.
I think this feeling was further compounded by my explorations of Mesoamerican archaeology and history between 2019 and 2020. I think it was in studying Danibeedza, the ancient Kingdom of the Zapotecs that once encompassed all Oaxaca, that I taught to myself a historical imagination and way of concieving of times and places distant from my own, and so in it, Chocolate holds a very special place in this world that it doesn't in my own, but right now, I feel like if only a little bit, those little blocks of candied love come close.
If it wasn't obvious by the styling, the subject matter of this page, the imagery, I'm sort of fixated on China. I started watching Yi Yi when I felt a need to explain myself and why I feel this way.
Compounding chemical effects can make for quite the rush.
Maybe I'm cheapening it by reducing it to chemicals again
I probably am.
I'm losing the words I want to explain myself... I might just do it another time. I just wanna curl up in my bed and feel the warmth of the tea. It was really soft and cuddly.
I had some errands to run, and money to spend, so last week (it is the 7th of September as of writing) I got myself some tea on the way, something I hadn't tried before. I've used a lot of my spare change to try various beers as the world of alcohol has opened up to me. I like going to the local Bottleo, going to the fancy beer section, and choosing a new one to try every time when I have the money. It's much easier than taking the hour trip into the city to buy much more expensive tea, because alcohol is simply a 5 minute walk away. As such, this was a rather exciting thing to look forward to. It was the first thing I did when I got into the city, where I entered the tea shop to the sound of spoken Japanese, which I found rather pleasant, and somewhat intriguing given my recent bouts of polyglossomania. I inquired with the shopkeep about oolongs, and after a slight miscommunication regarding the tieguanyin, he pointed me to the new shipment of tea, having only just arrived that Monday, on the 29th. This thought excited me dearly, and so, with what money I did have, I purchased a 25g packet of Baozhong. I was really happy and excited headed back to the station for lunch, and giggled to myself along the way. With 6 dollars for lunch, I bought a small taco and bag of corn chips, and used the free habanero sauce to make the plain corn chips more palatable. I could not afford a ticket home, and had to pretend as if I had lost my card, which the Train man saw though, but turned a blind eye to. I appreciate that gesture.
All that's really left now is to use up one of my tea tins so I can store the baozhong properly. I'm hoping to drain my mingjian, which I have not had the best experience with. Soon, I'll get to try new tea, how exciting!!
Listening to Ale by Rcihard Reynoso
lots of crumbs
tastes mild, not too much tea was used to make this batch
hidden sweetness around every corner
it feels like a farewell
Mr Disco by Manilyn Reyes
Mahal kita, shout out Mr Disco!!!
gentle splashing of pouring water, pleasant steam, pleasant taste
I feel very warm and cozy inside
I guess it is a farewell
warm parting hug from old friend, one ill never taste again. that's how it is with seasonal teas. parting astringency, i guess what would more conventionally be called bittersweet, I'm left with astringentsweet. less catchy, that. light spill, 3:16 AM-- take a second to admire the droplets of water from the splash left. ever so slight stickiness of the lid as i lift it for more water. this music feels off--Mambobola by Zsa Zsa Padilla--so now's a good chance to switch out... uhm...
time feels slower. the sun comes to shine as the clouds pass on by, like a gentle curtain, or shifting along a gradient; i think to the patient pace of clouds. I haven't drunk in a while, but the flowers settle into a pleasant caramel aftertaste. I decide on Sunshower by Taeko Ohnuki. Whilst Manilla sound is nice, it's all too poppy for me at times. Taeko Ohnuki has a voice and grace that nobody out in Filipino music fromt he 80s does. I have a taste for silly disco music from decades I never lived, but I also want slowness and gliding feelings out of my music right now, to give to this tea what I would rather pretentiously call "a dignified goodbye".
I feel a kind of longing for outside, it's really sunny, I should take a walk later on and enjoy the warmth on my skin, the scent of eucalyptus. But, right now, I think my time is best spent with the warmth of the tea. With that said: Third steeping, please take your place.
Tilted lid, shifting ceramic, water warmth, splashing, pouring, slowing to drops, lowering, cermanic clink against the saucer.
Ah! So nutty! And it all dances together. This first taste was so nice and I feel very pleasantly. Maple, a cat who lives here, joins me on the table, she seems to be in less pain lately, for she had found herself with a large wound some days before. My sister comes in, grabs a box of chocolates, and calls Maple a mean name I would hesitate to use here.¹ (in affectionate jest). Maple doesn't understand and excitedly goes to join her in watching movies or whatever it is that my sister does. I think talking to friends right now, that might be it. The music fades out with violins, a guitar solo, bass following along in suite. I feel really sad right now. I think this is the first tea for whom I have exhausted my stash of. It was never quite my favourite, but it was always pleasant and comforting to drink. Maybe I didn't see it at the time, or appreciate it for what it was.
4
I smell the lid a moment, and the world spins. I feel dizzied, and my head kinda buzzes. I pour from the gaiwan, take the cup. Chocolate notes fill my mouth. I'm very caught in the moment, and find myslf still several minutes. Worldmelt, sublimeeeeeeeeeee.
からっぽの椅子. Empty chair. I feel shy, melancholy, I don't know.
I should photograph this tea
5
I asked my sister for her phone so I could, and ate a block of chocolate in the meantime. I then sat still and spaced out, only for the tea to somewhat oversteep. It's a little bitter now, but I taste much more detail even then.
6
piano cascade
warm scent
fleeting feelings
I don't want it to go, but so on the show must. Sargasso Sea plays, and ends. 振子の山羊 begins. Synaesthesia lights dance and glimmer. Everything is so perfect, the taste fades from the tea like life in old age. I laugh to myself. They should not allow schizospec girls to drink tea!!! I am a mountain of river delta thoughts spilling danubian crossings into the memories of departing spouls. Sip. To this cup belongs memories.
The American Century as Seen Through a Brick, a film by one Incandenza. Go see it. That's this cup.
サマー.コネクション
This music is so beautiful. I feel satisfied. I gave this tea the farewell it deserved, I feel.
6
Pour! So happy I could melt. I taste that cocomut flavour, I only ever witnessed it once before, and always tried to taste it a second time, but it never allowed me. Why is it showing me this now? After so long?! It never tasted like this, only once before, and now again, I always tried to get it right, every single time. Everything is so sweet and wonderful and I kind of want to cry, I don't get what I did this tme. I should stop writing and just drink.
I think that's the last of it.
Sayonara.
[1] I have used this term on this page in a somewhat hypomanic condition listening to guqin. You might be able to guess what!
Wandering, lurking, watching... I've been going through some TeaChat discussions on how to brew Baozhong-- it's neither a green tea or an oolong, apparently. Something inbetween, and the stuff I picked was quite top shelf, first pickings of the season, this would be my first time trying such a tea, so I feel like I wanna get this right.
I've elected to listen to 2 by Lilith Wulf.
I avoid preparing the tea for a while, but I guess I should definitely just do so.
As the water boils, I try to clear my head, and wander over to the window. A bird is perched on the other side of the fence, but they're so still, I couldn't tell they were real. Something about their plumpness tells me they are not, but I can't tell-- and their head twitches, so then I know that this bird is alive, and is maybe even looking at me. I feel kinda fuzzy now.
Kettle heat passing it's crescendo, slowing slowing slowing to a bubble. Faster faster faster: Beep, beep. There's my ticket to the milky way express.
I pour the water, heat the ware. Everything is in it's place.
I rinse the tea, and as told, the lid smells stronger than the leaves.
And then I steep the tea. 30 seconds pass slowly, I pour it, I smell it again, the water greener than the bronzes and amber I'm used to. From pitcher to cup.
It's not like anything I've ever tried before. My tounge kinda twitches after it fills my mouth. It's not... big and deep and smoky, like an oolong. It always leaves with such a spiraling after taste. I can't really describe it outside of shapes. Everything about this tea spirals like a whirlpool, nothing at all like the symmetric falling and shaking of an oolong. Rolling pianos play. I didn't notice the album had already finished. I need another steep.
Okay, maybe I can better describe this with simple terms, like how emotions are best described simply when one can. This tastes, savory, and sweet, and none of these help descripe it :(
Maybe like melon. I'm kinda cheating by looking at other people's description. I think terms like "floral" are ambiguous, but melon is very close.
Short guitar notes ring out, like bubbling, blips in space. Everything about this sound is so spacey but I also feel so grounded and drowned by colours. A friend of mine has a saying: "Any sufficiently advanced thinking is indistinguishable from magical thinking."
dun dun dun dundun dzooom
There's only so much I can do for you with words. It's harder to show the blooming lights that peak through the clouds, the gentle movements of leaves upon wind, I've tried to give you the music, the terms, an introduction to how tea can be experienced, but it's all so hard to describe. Maybe I could talk about how I feel.
I feel so calm, warm, I can't take my eyes off the shifting sparkles of eucalyptus leaves as they brush about, you can make out bits of the sky inbetween the gaps, but they move so much it's like glitter watter. When I move my head to check the writing, the light from outside forces my eyes to adjust, and impressions of what I'd seen still take everything up. Visual snow turns to visual fog, to visual blizzards, and all of it defined by the tea scrawling runes into my throat and mind.
I need to fix this water, it's already cooled down too much
As the water reheats, I tend to my orchid. It's medium seems dry, so I provide it more water. Tea fills my chest and pulls it into strings and threads and fabrics. Another steep: Smelling the lid makes my body feel rushes of little blisses.
I sip the tea, met with astringency, and then gifts of delicate floral melon. I guess, seeing my own flower has made me more amenable to it, hehe. the clouds part to reveal a sky blue sky. It's so bright, I can hardly make out my computer screen when I turn my head to type.
Nothing written here is in precise chronological order, I always go back to add more or change old things or redo others, adding in details experienced after.
Pavogta, likimo esmė! Blugh, I'm filled with little dreams of Lithuanian, such a pretty language. I wanna do something like this in Tagalog, ah that would be so pretty.
I took a while, and a couple tries, but the tea has probably lost it's heat, I need to redo everything, but I managed to use a simple brush to inscribe the name of this tea onto a piece of paper. It looks quite beautiful. I also inscribed a glyph of sorts I saw in the clouds.
Tea steep 4
It's so delicious. It's so full of that sweet-savory taste, it kinda melts into my tounge, I adore it so much.
Chocolate hearts and stag beetles plays. I don't wanna hear voices outside, so I have it quite loud.
I need to hide from the light. I overheard a conversation invoking ethical disgust in me. I don't like to feel that for others. I'm gonna cuddle a plush bunny I have.
I drank more tea, but didn't really write about it. I've had a stranger in the house for a couple days and I haven't really been enjoying it, so I've been more focused on the comfort of tea, bunnies, low light, and loud music. I feel really calm and softened at least. Tea is like magic.
Moral of the story: Surround yourself with plush toys, delusions, tree glyphs, and loud music.
Yesterday I had some errands to run. Provided the choice between going out for lunch, or getting tea, I ended up getting tea.
I'm always so happy at the tea shop, there's always the pleasant sound of Japanese between the store owners, I notice that there's so much more dimension and complexity in actual voices that recordings never seem to capture. I noticed some people speaking German on the way back home, for instance, and immediately felt a great affection for it.
I spent rather long pondering and wandering amongst the available stock, then, and went to ask one of the owners what she reccomended as far as green teas went, further explaining that I was curious to try gyokuro, but could not afford it and only had a gaiwan to brew with. I also brought up being rather new to senchas, and so she reccomended me Sencha Ei Asatsuyu, something rather similar to gyokuro by her account, further mentioned online. I remember feeling very taken aback and almost moved upon smelling it, something more convincing to me regarding the tea than any words could do justice to, and immediately bought it.
For about an hour, now, I've been mostly cleaning out my room, purging it of any strong scents. I never thought I'd be this thorough over a tea. Before I got into tea more braodly, I mostly drank genmaicha, so I have some experience in green tea, but it's limited. I don't really know what to expect if it comes to something of higher quality, most especially from something often termed the natural gyokuro.
And, well, now I'm here, somewhat stalling, contemplating what to listen to whilst I drink. A part of me tends towards Taeko Ohnuki or something, but another part yearns for Les Rallizes Dénudés, especially if gyokuro has a heavier taste, though this might be quite sweet, too, so I should definitely plan backup music to accompany the sweetness...
Oh, of course, I could listen to Rei Harakami. I'm not in the mood for noise rock anyway. I'm rather content with this choice.
Okay, I think the water is done, the tea is on hand, everything is in it's place.
It smells so richly, fragments of tea fill the bag, unlike the large leaved oolongs and pu'erhs I'm used to, it's like shattered glass, the bag is luxuriously soft, it shows no resistance when I hold it. I feel almost shy.
Tea gets everywhere.
I pour the water, the tea, a million little fragments, all small and dancing together, the cha hai fills with leaves, a quarter of the tea gets there, my cup fills with tea leaves, this has gone horribly, I rush for a strainer, and strain out what I can, saving as many leaves as posible, I need to move this to a different pot.
Taste wise, it's so intense, the smell indicates to a taste I can't get
I haven't even begun to learn what tea can be. My head goes buzzy with theanine, or caffiene, or mania, or bliss, I don't know what's going on, it's almost delirious and confusing.
I've never been this out of control. I feel dizzy.
Okay, I need a tea pot, a gaiwan won't cut it.
This really did not go according to plan.
I steep again, I may have oversteeped, the teapot struggled to pour at a certain point, too many leaves clumped up.
Fuck./
the water is so thick, the music intensifies the delerious buzz. My sleeve is stained, fuck, what do I do?!
I think I'm panicking too much without saying anything about the taste...
It's kind of unlike anything...
Steep 3
Acidity, but only delicate and barely noticeable, earthy, seaweed, like fine nori, the strainer helped, l-theanine throws me for a loop, sugary tastes hit the back of my throat, the result begins to stabilize, but I might also have brewed out all the bitterness. I think the choice of music was good. I put in a lot of water, though, and it tastes almost understeeped. Serenata D.957. Everything about the mood changes with this song, but it might be just because it particularly impacts me. I noticed I never opened the blinds I closed to get dressed. I open them. I've seen this eucalyptus a thousand times but each time it changes, I feel like I'm sinking. Spring light pours into my room, I take a lions mane capsule. I think the water needs another heating.
Tea is everywhere, this place is a mess, even in places I wouldn't expect it. I feel like I'm sinking, it's more psychoactive than I expected it. everything that touches me begins to feel like a part of me, and I sorta feel like I'm blurring into the world around me as boundaries come apart.
Graphomanic urgings. Desire for calligraphy. Birds, Visual snow calmly reminding me that nothing has changed, floaters dancing about, friends to me that have accompanied me from a very young age.
Steep 4
It's kind of a hassle to pour, I don't have my normal momentum. I'm using much more water, so the gaiwan is repurposed as a bowl to drink from, since the cha hai doesn't carry much water. I need to wait longer on the tea.
I don't want to tell you that it's brothy, that it's umami, you can hear that from anybody regarding gyokuros and senchas, but those are the things that come to me. I think the question comes: how might I describe this in a way only I can?
It's 2009, and I am having a bowl of sinigang, with cut radishes that are succulent and crisp. I remember the scent of tamarind, of onion and tomato.
It's not really like that, though. It's like the memory of it, the slight lemonyness that comes after a warm brothy flavor, earthy enough that it distinguishes itself from lemon, like tamarind, I guess.
It doesn't have the saltiness of my dad's cooking, it isn't salty at all, but it's rich with umami. So, it comes to mind my own sometimes, before the dish has taken form.
And yet, it's distinct, it's unique and special...
Water like cat's fur, mushrooms, memories of a redwood forest in New Zealand, 2018, and the paths I carved through it, places to get lost in. Lines trace paths on leaves just outside my room, dahlias yet to bud flowers, the leaves remind me of lemon leaves, some are sunburnt further from my room, whee the shade of the house doe snot shade them. Bubbly synths fade out the way the taste does. Something about the tea is fatty, like the richness of fresh olive oil oil used to dress dishes, contrasting the taste of cooked oil, which sheds it's more complex flavors and takes on the flavors of what is used to season it.¹ My body goes loose, like I'm spilling out my soul and puddling about. I've made such a mess here...
the reflection of the world in puddles of water, I'm surrounded by oceans of green filled with memories, with blessings, with divinity. I remember in a tea video someone saying that each drop contained heaven when it came to senchas.
Steep 5
I have to divide the tea into two different steeps as a result of the complexity, and so there are two steepings.
I am hit with divinity on the first bowl, it intensifies into everything I was told gyokuro could be, but it's sencha, too, at least I think it is. I don't know the difference yet.
I sit with this tea much longer than oolongs or pu'erhs, the aftertaste is so eternal.
Beautiful jade elixr, at the bottom sits an all manner of seaweeds, a heart of dark green with a transparent and lighter shell, few leaves possess any kind of opacity
I drink the rest before the heat fades, and now I think I'll just lie down with the feelings it's left me.
I could do anything today, I feel so free.
[1] Fresh olive oil is more floral, more bright, and has higher notes than cooked oil, which loses these things with heat. We normally cook oil with things to flavor, like soffritos, like garlic, like spring onion, or like hard herbs (herbs whos stems are like twigs, these stems can be used as flavorings, allowing you to use the full herb rather than discarding the stem. Soft stems also work fine, but are better fresh)
eyeing up the kyusu next im at the tea shop like im ahab catching a sight of moby dick. that sencha got away from me last time so i musnt let it happen again. i absolutely must perfect what i tasted that day, i need to taste what that scent promised, i cant let them get to me. i will conquer sencha dammit!!
steep 1
heating teaware, feel very relaxed after my shower, beforehand i kept repeating "purify purify purify" but as if it were in some funny language
i place the tea in the pot and gently rustle it about, i can tell the quantity wasnt much by how much tea leaves the container as i ladle it in
smell time! sweet and fruity and gah
i read online a bit ago that this tea steeps longer to unfurl, so this time, at the expense of heat, i've been experimenting
and, to my surprise, it isn't quite bitter the way I'd have expected with a steeping of a minute, nor particularly astringent. sure, it's strong, but there's a lot going on and that's to be expected of one's first steep.
buzzy calm enters my body, i watch the clouds and light pours into my room, it's a little difficult to see my computer when i look back to type-- uhm, I should charge it, yes.
im very entertained by the light cast on my bedsheets, as it appears as though waves, who knew shadow and light could draw out so much color of something
steep 2
i reheat the pot, and go to pour, brewing more conservatively, 45 seconds, the steam presents beautiful patterns, and i feel a longing for a breeze. some butterflies are outside, but im somewhat anxious to open the windows for presence of mosquitos
idle thought: "all culinary practice can be understood through time and heat control"
maybe not my own, i think i heard it elsewhere, but it feels very distinclty to be that in the domain of tea
deep breath, huigan in my chest, the world feels slightly tilted on an angle, but it's mostly because im very limp and kind of dizzy, the music helps. fruitcake and cookies was the greatest moment in shoegaze as one /mu/ dork put it
my favourite thing about a wet teaboard is the reflection of the world in it, watching the clouds from a mirror of hot water
steep 3
lovely lovely amber-green exlir, like cuddly winter ginisang sitaw and sugar coated pancakes. a creaminess coats my tongue with richness of such kindness and i think im delving into my disorganized dreams so ill stop there~
i find that trying to relate the flavours here to tastes i experienced as a young child sorta adds a particularity to my experience and ties it maybe in a sorta... psychoanalytic??? way?????? in understanding my tastes and preferences
i bought a pack of mung beans a couple weeks ago but no malunggay leaves :(
oh and it reminds me of the melon sa malamig my dad makes when im at his place
this time baby it's true la da daaaaaaaa
i bought some cheap commodity puerh at my dads house. i nearly never pair tea and food, but maybe i should. my one memory of tea-food combination is red bean buns and i think tieguanyin, and that was a very happy memory so i certainly have to do it again
blinding blinding clouds!!!!
everything is delicate and fluffy in this room, most especially me and most especially those clouds ok
steep 4
steep 3 has such a sweet aftertaste that lingers even as i wait on the tea to steep, even as i pour, and even as i sip, layering on with another gift
i love looking at all the stuff i have plastered onto my wall as i drink. theres so many cool poems and stuff written on.
the brain is just the weight of god, for heft them pound for pound, and they will differ, if they do, as syllable from sound
i wanna make ash reshteh sometime soon,,,,
steep 5 i think?
i sorta wish i had one of those kettle heaters, like, a little fire to keep it hot and a stand to keep the fire away from direct contact. i once had that at this restauaunt where i got wonton soup and red bean pancakes, that was really nice of a place and id like to go again.
i mean, i guess the ones you have for tea like this are a little different. they just used a little candle i think, they might have something different for gongfu but i dont know
i remember one cool thing about the place was they had a mystery tea option, mine came with i think rose petals, and was a little oversteeped eventually but i enjoyed it all the same. maybe next i come ill order something really fat heavy, and have it with some kind of puerh, since those are advised to be paired together.
the music makes it's exit, little synths bubbling bubbly bubbly. the end synths of international feel like bubbles being popped, dont they? it's so pleasant !!!
steep 6
reheated the water again. i wont try time it, it will come to me i think
i think enough time has passed, the music indicates as such. i kinda dont like counting for myself but i dont like having timers on hand either, i wish i could let time pass as it pleased
and it does not disappoint! im gifted with such a pleasant taste of almost, buko, i think! theres are bees outside wandering about for pollen, id take my flower out to see them but i dont know if thats wise because, as an orchid, it musn't get too much light lest it burn
[uhhh if you have a psychotic condition, warning i am about to do repetitions]
lest it burn lest it burn lest it burn lest it burn lest it burn lest it burn lest it burn lest it burn lest it burn lest it burn lest it burn lest it burn lest it burn lest it burn let the light in!!!!!!!!!!
[okay you can continue from here]
steep 7
chocolate matter is a fun song for fun people ok
you can steep this tea ifninitely it never stops, i got like 6ish out of my tieguanyin and it tasted so light by here, i kept steeping it to like 9 over the past couple days but there was no amount of steeping one could do to get it right really
im thinking about someone on the other side of the world who might be thinking of me.
it's nice to have friends. i am happy because everyone loves me. i used to be so paranoid everyone hated me as a child, and got really angry and upset and afraid. i think my condition as a teenager was a continuation of that, albiet through an even more paranoid justification that there was a plot to kill me. schizotaxia does strange things to people.
i think it's funny that this was supposed to be a tea journal and is now an idle tea drunk thoughts thing. i guess it represents the shift from tea as a novelty to an institution and aspect of my life that facilitates a kind of space for me. i hope sometime i can share it with more than just stuffed toys
i should read the hojoki, maybe. im stacking up books i start and never finish aghhhh!
slightest resemblance to caraway, or licorice. when i first began to explore the city on my own, without the oversight of my parents, i had made a ritual of always dropping by the candy store for a bar of firm licorice, really firm, actually, since i never liked the texture of soft licorice, nor it's flavor in some ways. i could never finish it in one go because it took a long time in your mouth to soften and melt, so a bar of some always sat in my wardrobe, and id have it for quite a while as a result. i dont remember when i stopped buying it, but i remember not having the money for it once, having spent it all on ramen or something else, and not going back for it after. im kind of scared that if ever or when ever i am out of my country, i wont be able to find anything like it again
the album ends, and i finish the steep, but i know it can go for more, and i dont really wanna stop here-- it's been an hour and a half of drinking, and im pondering what to listen to next...
From «Essays in Idleness»:
What strange folly, to beguile the tedious hours like this all day before my ink stone, jotting down at random the idle thoughts that cross my mind …
wow, same, thats me, me too. im jotting down all the idle thoughts i have and recounting all the things that cross my mind
a friend of mine tells me that teahouses in japan are termed mountain hermitages in the city. this site is a mountain hermitage online, and this room is a mountain hermitage in the suburbs. i think ive said this before
oh, I know! I should listen to yankee hotel foxtrot, and maybe after im done drinking tea i can listen to shortwave radio signals and check
oops i forgot to continue with the tea and now im hungry. i guess ill drink more later today
-
5 hours pass. I make lunch, and have a delicious custard donut that my family return with after a day out. I think I'm ready for tea again
-
steep 8
I pass this one very absent mindedly
I got a job last week packaging detergent, so I had to move to my dad's house to make it easier to get to work. Away from the scenes of this room and into the scenes of the next, there's so many more different things to see here. Deeper within the throes of suburbia, besides a garden of no effortful cultivation, I find it much harder to find the same kind of natural scenery that my backyard provided, although we do have a small courtyard with a really beautiful plant of bamboo, among other things, and some wonderful shelves featuring an all manner of trinkets, I would hardly call it good tea space. But nonetheless, I'll make beauty where there is none.
I've also had to move my tea stuff, although I didn't bring all of it, such as the sencha I got last time, so I won't be able to experiment it for now, at least not this week. Thus, with the pay I turned out, not only did I get a kyusu, but I also got some tea to put it to use.
steep 1
It's really intense, uhm, there's a slight bitterness but it's overall moreso deep, rich... it's not sweet and earthy the way oolongs are, I think I prefer oolongs, but the effects of it are also very aaaaaaaaa, and that inclines me to continue to explore sencha. I've noticed that the way I move about is affected, like, everything I do feels very smooth, which I didn't think was an effect tea could have. Part of this might be the warmth it imparts to my fingers, I feel like I'm on a cloud. I think a lot about the use of tea by buddhist monks to stay up as a cited effect of caffiene usage, but there's obviously a lot more to it than just that.
The noise of deep suburbia is so frustrating. Lawnmowers, pets, people, cars, but the birds are nice at least. I didn't decide on music beforehand, but I think I've settled on listening to Casino Gardens.
No, wait, this doesn't work.
I sip more, well, swig, kinda. I'm drinking from a coffee mug, which doesn't incline me to the appreciation I normally take when drinking. I need to charge my laptop but this place smells like meat and butter :(
oh wait there's an outlet near my tea. Luck strikes.
waaaa im so dizzy
Steep 2
the lingering aftertaste sorta sits sweetly, it melts into something different as time passes
Petrichor is a nice word for it. Rainy night strolls, or trips out skating at 4 AM. But it's really sunny out.
Sunshower.
Okay, I'll listen to Taeko Ohnuki, though I feel like I've been looping over the same songs over and over. I really wanna branch out
but this so perfectly suits how I feel right now
Transferred tea from mug to cha hai, and I got my ru kiln to better appreciate each and every sip! Oops, swallowed it wrong. Cough cough.
Living room christmas tree, red star, buddha head, weird jar, dagger shaped letter opener, lockbox, lanterns, kettles... My parents collected so much weird novelty stuff when they were together. We have so many buddha heads in both houses. Ikaw ang Star ng Pasko playing many nights, but more nights quiet than I remember. Sometimes I think I prefer cheesy christmas music to absence. I hope christmas dinner will be nice. We agreed to make a hot pot, which I've kinda never had before.
I like the aftertaste that this tea leaves, not just on my tongue but my throat, too. And it kinda fills my nose with a very calming scent. Grassy, if I wanted to describe it simply, although I sorta don't.
White drywall.
steep 3
I think the tea concentrates in my saliva a lot, so everything tastes so dreamy warm and sweet.
I'm beginning to notice the clay of the cha hai sorta seasons the tea... hmm, maybe not a good idea to use this, or maybe I should get another to avoid this. I am punished for my aesthetic choices!!! I didn't think this would be an issue because the clay is only the outside and for heat protection, but the spout has some on the edge and so it probably catches an uncountable many sessions
When I was 16, I was deep within the melancholy and despondence of a private catholic school, and I suffered a lot. It's shaped me in ways I'm still figuring out. There, I found myself sometimes receeding into the music I listened to, dissociating and sorta losing track of time, and then getting fixated with something really mundane for so very long. I guess what I want to say is that I could stare at concrete forever. I could watch the details of every little movement and crease and rupture in the stone floor. I could get lost in the world and never ever find my way out.
And right now I feel really lost. Each sip of tea sorta blurs the boundaries between me and everything around me. I think the music helps me feel this way.
steep 4
There's a milkyway in every little thing. A thousand constellations in the sunbeams pouring into this room. Everything feels like silk
Autechre time
I understand what AERO GROS M means by "Chasing the Melting Dragon That Leaks Into Fresh Vegetables" because this tea has caught it
it's really hard to write in this mood, i sorta keep getting lost in it and can't communicate
steep 5
With sencha, I think last time I was imparted by deep clarity, and this time, deep fog. I might be misremembeing though, and perhaps both times were foggy
standchen d957
this tea is so warm
it's strange to me how quickly it disappears, i can never quite make it last
but thats okay, it doesnt have to
i dont think i can drink anymore
steep 1
sip. so thick and smooth. im kinda shiverry with each taste, listening to druqks, sense of calm, cool breeze passes through the room, japanese teas are kind of inescapably bitter. there's something kinda throat-coating about it the way oolongs can be, like the back of my mouth and my chest are filled with this piercing sweetness, not gentle but overwhelming, shifting, the way the taste fades from your tongue and throat, but leaves and syrup cling, steeping continuosly, it's never the same each moment, panta rhei. though, the sweetness is a higher note. the base note, i mean obviously i could say brothy or savory, but what else is there to say? i guess like drum snares, or fireplace flickering, and there are those pretty synths but it's not quite like that. caramels at my granddad's house, but without the smell of chlorine... uhm whenever a memory enters, everything about it changes, like, all my thoughts sorta drift from one flavor to another and the legacy of flavor in aftertaste is rewritten by dreams of lives long gone
the last cup of steep 1 stares me down, a lot of debris still gets in the tea despite the fineness of the strainer, little bits of tea so fine that nothing could hold them. they condense the flavor at it's strongest, holding the weight of bliss in their hands. i drown in it
steep 2
i feel lethargic, and depressed today. ive felt this way vaguely since i woke up. there's a big frown on my face and a sense of melancholy. i dont know why i feel this way, it's christmas!!! im gonna have a huge and delicious meal with my dad and it's gonna be something different this time because we talked about a really big hot pot instead of the usual... roast vegetables, and i guess i get a tofu consolation prize? being vegan is hard in a filipino household. so im really looking forward to the hot pot, we have all sorts of rice sweets, yummy puffed tofu (not the usual braised firm stuff my dad makes which is eh), noodles, this really big broth of dried shiitake mushrooms, im looking forward to a lot, but i wont be able to appreciate it until ive cheered up. i just need something to cheer me up, and im hoping this tea provides that. it sorta does, so do the birds outside, they're really close by, you can see their feathers from here, so much detail, elegant and fine, folding over eachother in neat little rows, messier by the tail, colored and textured by the light and movement of shadow, a wonderful pink belly and two cute little red legs, a dark black layer of feather beneath the warm copper latte of it's wings, and a delicate black beak for eating fruits. birds are so fluffy and nice, wish i could approach them and befriend them the way sometimes ill do with cats in the area.
i guess i should reheat the water and start the tea, it's just sitting here as i spill words out and admire the bird. yesterday, coming back from thrift store shopping, i saw another bird drinking the nectar of some flowers in our front yard, what a lovely sight! i decide to bring my flower nearby, since it's not really thriving where it is. shes doing so poorly lately :( so ive put her under the canopy of some bushes we have, hopefully that works well.
okay, i should really reheat the water and begin steeping.
rainbow colors in the bubbles, lovely pinks and greens and blues. buzzy snares make my head spin.
sip. my whole body tenses up and i feel really shivery. deep breaths, release, limp. big smell, sip some more, everything feels dreamy drifty dizzy. head is repeating with disordered thoughts again. d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. twelve note timbre in taste and texture, oh a strange flavor comes upon me. avril 14 is a pretty song. im getting a gozleme later today which is definitely something to look forward to, i think im starting to feel a little bit better, or at least beginning to smile, no matter how punctuated it is by a vague alexithymic mist. im feeling sad again but i think i know why, and i think i can address it.
okay, i hope that means ill feel better soon.
steep 3
patience as the tea steeps. cuddly dream liquid please ease my aching heart. im gonna listen to mount eerie, no flashlight sounds good. i love how tea is different every time, every moment every second. point a finger gun to closed blinds, point, shoot, pow pow.
warm little guitar riffs and howling and bassy hits and guitar crescendos!!!!!!!!! lil wings in my heart, heaven in every drop.
it disappears kind of quickly. i have nothing more to add.